Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Bugger Self Belief

I missed a day but I'm not going to get stressed about that because I did get 656 words down yesterday.

This story is so like sculpting, not that I've actually done much sculpting but it's what I imagine. Beginning with a general shape and adding lumps of clay here and there.and moulding as you go. Completely UNlinear. It's not a way I've worked before but I hope I'm getting the hang.
I'm also loving the way that little bits of story are magically linking up with other btw of story - I think it's called plotting. Especially for those bits that the time between me dreaming them up and them landing on the page is less than a second. That's when the story seems as if its writing itself.

I'm listening to Kate for her depth. Often, when you analyse the key events, not a lot happens in her chapters. So in the one I've just listened to a character (with a secret) - and that's important a character having a secret - gets a phone call which challenges how well she can keep the secret. But around that key event there are so many pools of revelation about what sort of people these characters are and character - building scenelets that each chapter is so rich - I love Kate Atkinson's stuff.

Also, from listening to Kate I'm getting again and again, the key to a good story is character. It's what we know but I can get so hung up on my concept or lack of one, I put too much energy into that when I should be thinking about my people.

I'm enjoying myself at the moment so, today bugger self belief.
Yesterday got the mail to say I've got a spot at the latest Curtis Brown Discovery Day - woo and ooh err. So self introspection will start poking around again soon, I'm sure. That and panic.

Today's stats:
WORDS ABOVE/BELOW TARGETfor a Feb 29th 1st draft completion: 45 over

Monday, 18 January 2016


Woke up with a head full of rubbish.  Suddenly remembered I have the Golden Egg Big Honk on Friday and I haven't written a single sentence a child could read since October. WHY am I going to this do when I don't think I can write for children?

Did lots of rubbish words at the library this morning, hoping no one would turn up for CV/cover letter assistance. Mostly they didn't. But not happy with library words.

This evening read and considered the Heksinki Bus Station Theory. I got off the bus. Darn.

Decided to pretend this is the bus I'm meant to stay on.
Read the Helsinki Bus Theory and this will make sense.

And this evening, this morning's words are slightly less rubbish and a nugget of conviction re the story is growing again. Pretty sure the whole thing will be ridiculous but my completer finisher tendencies are keeping a grip on it.

Word count not great but have got rid of a few that were there just for buoyancy.

Today's stats:
SELF BELIEF LEVEL: starting the day at 1/10 finishing at 5/10
WORDS ABOVE/BELOW TARGETfor a Feb 29th 1st draft completion: 719 under

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Self Belief rather than Self Doubt

(I'm going to be recording self belief from now - more positive.)

Haven't done my words yet today because of friends over for lunch but have had some plot insights which I've had to my 'truth' document. So maybe about 50 words there but they don't count for the stats.

Have got sucked into catching up on Luther which is gruesome and ok story wise though a bit silly and  crass in places but sort of counts as research though.

I did get a few more words down last night so not too behind. Very much hoping I'll be awake enough add this morning's plot insight.

I love the film that's running in my head but because it's in my head it's more real than a film, well bits are, the writing of it makes it realer. It's a load of rubbish really and I have no idea what  I'm doing writing about stuff I know nothing about but I suppose  that's what my imagination is for.

Here are today's stats at the time of writing:
WORDS ABOVE/BELOW TARGETfor a Feb 29th 1st draft completion: 994 under
TODAY'S WORDS: so far…..still got two and half hours left of today….

Saturday, 16 January 2016

Going Back & Pressing On

I'm at 40k and it feels only a third of the way through but that's ok. Although when I've done this before I've pressed on pushing the story ahead and only writing notes about characters or stuff to insert, this time, going back and inserting stuff feels like I'm pushing the story ahead.
Like Neil Gaiman says you only learn to write the book you're on.

So today and for the last few days, I'm pressing on by going back. I've been looking at the story so far, from other characters' point of view. So these may just be exercise/character study chapters and not part of the story at all but it's really helping. When I was pressing on with only my main pov character it was starting to get a bit thin and stretched. Feels a lot more weighty now.  I hope they are part of the story - I'm not one for exercises and I'm rubbish at planning, all feels too much like work. I just want to get on and explore, tell myself the story.

I'm sure there are widgets for this but here are today's stats at the time of writing:
SELF DOUBT LEVEL: 7/10 - not bad at all. Will plummet when I read some more of Kate (Atkinson) or if I'm tempted to check out the UV 2016 anthology
WORD COUNT: 40476 
WORDS ABOVE/BELOW TARGETfor a Feb 29th 1st draft completion: 524 under
TODAY'S WORDS: 770 - 30 under my 800 daily target but will do some more after we've done the charity shops.